Quilting is not for Sissies

I know that some of you are probably rolling your eyes right now after reading the title above. You're thinking "quilting is something old ladies do, therefore of course it is for sissies. Duh." Just days ago, I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly. And then I went to my first quilting class.

As you may know, we live in the middle of nowhere and the options for social interaction and activities involving other humans are pretty limited. Since I love to sew, a quilting class seemed like a great way to learn some new skills and get out of the house. If learning new skills and getting out of the house were my only two objectives, I am an outstanding success having done both of those things. If, however, part of my goal was to actually complete the project taught in this "beginning" quilting class, the jury is still out.

Quilting class doesn't just involve a bunch of old ladies drinking tea and bragging about grandchildren (though, there is PLENTY of that) it requires you to be a mathematician, a chart-diagram-blueprint-interpreter, a master of the rotary cutter, and have insane patience for tediousness. The sewing itself is the easy part! Actually, that may not be true. After the first class, I came home confident that I could cut and put together 4 squares that look like this:

I completed my homework and came back to class with 4 squares. Though, I must admit, I use the term squares loosely. Imagine if there was a mysterious invisible vortex in the middle of the square pulling the seams every-which-way and giving the "square" an hourglass-type shape. Sadly, my teacher was not impressed and I was immediately given instructions to start over. I spent the next 5 hours (no exaggeration here) of class redoing what I thought I had already done. 4 squares... less than a quarter of the total project. Curses.

What was impressive was 86 year old Claire who had finished 16 out of 16 squares (yes, hers were actually square shaped) and she had them completely sewn together. Like a real quilt. Claire is not a sissy. Nor are the other 4 lovely ladies in my class who are all old enough to be my grandmother. I don't know how they do it. You would think that my young eyes and sharp mind would get me somewhere. So far, all it has gotten me is a big fat start over.