The Dogs

Proof the American Housewife is changing.

Sometimes I get lulled into forgetting just how punk rock my wife is. (Punk rock as a phrase, not a reference to the sad, slow death of the fringe culture and eventual decline of rock and roll altogether) After a couple years of living in the comfortable domestic haven she has carved out for us, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that she is still the badass I fell for. Here is further proof that the American Housewife (who, these days sews, bakes and works 50 hours a week from a home office) is not what she used to be. And thank God for that.

Me: "Hey Sweety, do you want a margarita? I'm gonna have one... or five."

Wifey: (Bent over kitchen table cluttered with thousands of tiny pieces of fabric) “…If you want me to get wasted I'm down.  But… can I finish my quilting first?”

Now that's Betty Draper meets Joan Jett. Domestic crafting and animal house. Quilting is once again for badasses. Or maybe for the first time. Either way, my wife rules.

send me  you're most awesomest spousal quotes homies.


  1. My most awesome spousal quotes? Fuck. That would require an entire blog just for that! The guy is non stop saying the awesomest of stuff. He rocks. But so do I. Have I told you I'm about to do the opposite of what you and Betty Rocker have done? We're heading out towards SoCal... (yeah, you can use the Betty Rocker thing, I just made it up just for you) Life is wonderful when you're in wonderful lane.

  2. Those little ol' quilting ladies in Utah would just love this, ;)

    Here is mine:

    Me: Honey while you are on the internet could you find out about Weight Watchers for me?

    (honey types furiously away)

    Honey: Hey Nub, I just found the coolest website on whale tracking.

    Bad ass yup ~ foot up ass ~ hell yeah

  3. Dr. Mom: [makes a convoluted and unlikely sounding explanation for some issue in such a way that it makes her look smart and ultimately benefits her to my detriment]

    Me: Oh yeah? Where'd you get that?

    Dr. Mom: JOMA

    Me: What's that?

    Dr. Mom: Journal Of My Ass (not to be confused with JAMA: Journal of American Medicine.)

  4. hahaha, I was hoping for JOMAMA! but that is also cool. I hope she doesn't tell her patients that's where she got the info about the rash they need diagnosed.


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